So much further now

My call seem to be a nuisance, my sms seems to be a pain. My tears and plea seems to be a waste. Is it because I am feeling low? Is it because I am disappearng out of your heart? Is it because U are sick of me? Is it because there is another 1 in your heart? Or is it U starting to hate me? Everytime U put the phone down on me without saying goodbye and with a sense of anger, I feel the love fading away. Everytime U spend time with your friends, I feel U tend to change your attention and care. Is it me who is feeling low or is it U are already sick of me? I feel the more U ignore me, the further we are from each other. I feel unlove and "uncare"(if there is such a word). Today I come to work in silence and with a sad heart. All the "sorries"( if there is again another type of word) U have said I accept and I trust that sorry. Do U really mean it? I am scared of losing U because I know that no other guy can love like U do but so far I see, your love for me is dying. I hope all these are hallucinations and nitemare. I do not want to hold U down like a prisoner in my heart, if U do want to fly, I let it be. That way I will know if U really love me. Sometimes I cut myself to see how much it bleeds and I know that the pain is nothing compared to this aching heart. All I want in a guy is for him to love me, cherish me, do not take me for granted, care for me, do not forget me, sincerity and honesty, do not leave me alone when I really need him and really, really, really, really love me. That is all I ask for from U. All others and feeling of goodness will come by itself from that love that u planted in yourself. Love brings U feelings like U have never feel before and do so much goodness that U be so fascinated to embrace it and never let it go no matter what. I hope U do love me this way because that is how much I love u...(-_-) My eyes both now are red. There is a yellow liquid coming at the side of my eyes. When I woke up I need to force open my eyes as all of it has solidify, its not eye shit ok but I think its the yellow liquid that the irritation makes.

I don't know who cares...

Sometimes I wonder wether people close to me and those used to be close to me and everyone around me ever think or say things about me. Wonder if they think that I am a good friend or a bad one. I know that it is bad to think what other people thinks about U but I can't help it. I am not like suppose to believe in horoscopes but PISCES are sensitive and easily wounded. Now I am back to wearing my cool nerd specs beause the other day I got an eye infection. Sometimes I wonder if my friends ever know that I am busy with the work and school I have. My time are mostly for work and school and of course for Fadly. I really can't be far from Fad. Sometimes I tend to get further away from my friends, esp close ones, because I think that I am not needed or special to them anymore or because they have new friends. That is 1 of the reasons why I can't be far from Fad, he is there for me as a friend and listens to my heart aches. Do not know why I will feel easily low and sad, I know its bad but I can't help it. My heart is very fragile and weak but I know that within all that when I am trying to reach out to someone in help, all of a sudden I have this strength and motivation to live. I'll suddenly will feel happy about what I have done for anyone around me, even after giving a smile to a stranger. Most of the time I feel invisible to people around me. Is it wrong to be humble? Maybe I am being too paranoid about this. Even things that happen to others around me that are miles away affect me so deeply. I can cry all because of that and feel miserable. Whenever I feel sad outside, I will feel like going home and cry in my room. Sometimes even go out alone makes me feels better. Alot of things are in my mine now, money to buy a new computer, taking care of my parents when sis got their house, wonder if Fad going to be my husband (feeling scared things go wrong), feeling low (sometimes I think everyone do not care esp those close), studies(esp) and others feeling pain. To think about it I need to send my abstract of proj poster now. So I guess the only way for me to cover that sadness to fill my time. I hope I answer enyones questions why sometimes I am like this and that... (-_-)

Sweets keep me strong and 'healthy'

Somebody say I and Shuyu are unhealthy people all because we are eating cup noodles most of the time in GIS... I am here to say that they are no such healthy people at all!!! They think we always eat from the vending machines, well, they are wrong k!!! We always 'da bao' from SOULFOOD and 7-Eleven food to eat at the 2nd level. AAArrrggghhh!!! We are going to continue on eating there no matter wat. Doesn't mean we attachment students they can say stuffs about us. I am going to set out a plan to get my revenge on this people, especially that idiot girl who say, "Very unhealthy, lor!". She gonna get it I tell ya... WHAHHahahah!!!

Try this...

Hmmm FAd can U try this too...HEhehe...Do U guys think that I am like what is stated here?Type me a message in the tagboard okay...

You Are a Peacemaker Soul

You strive to please others and compromise anyway you can.War or conflict bothers you, and you would do anything to keep the peace.You are a good mediator and a true negotiator.Sometimes you do too much, trying so hard to make people happy. While you keep the peace, you tend to be secretly judgmental.You lose respect for people who don't like to both give and take.On the flip side, you've got a graet sense of humor and wit.You're always dimplomatic and able to give good advice. Souls you are most compatible with: Warrior Soul, Hunter Soul and Visionary Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

Yesterday was busy,today it seems dull...

I am having fever, flu, sore throat and headache since 2 days ago. Now I am still at work doing my experiments. Sue say that we are dedicated to Science thats why we come eventhough we are sick. Fad slept the whole day yesterday eventhough he told me he going to call back after he eats his dinner. But I can understand that he was tired bedcause he did not have enough sleep since 2 days ago. But I don't understand why he is not replying to me since this morning, I call him but he off his hp. Sigh~ I don't know what to do. I am sick and I am sad that he is not there when I really need him. I told him not to come and meet me so he can study for his term test, but then a reply or a call is hard for him. I feel horrible. Nevermine then maybe he needs the rest from me. Sigh~

The song of the day

This is all my cousin's fault, go listen to this song then U'll know what I mean...

Bryan Adams When You Love Someone
When you love someone - you'll do anything
you'll do all the crazy things that you can't explain
you'll shoot the moon - put out the sun
when you love someone
you'll deny the truth - believe a lie
there'll be times that you'll believe you can really fly
but your lonely nights - have just begun
when you love someone
when you love someone - you'll feel it deep inside
and nothin else can ever change your mind
when you want someone - when you need someone
when you need someone...
when you love someone - you'll sacrifice
you'd give it everything you got and you won't think twice
you'd risk it all - no matter what my come
when you love someone
you'll shoot the moon - put out the sun
when you love someone

Headaches killing me!!

Damn, my head hurts since yesterday. My head feels hot now and I am sure that I am going to get sick soon. I am prepared for that. Watch 'Helter Skelter' yesterday nite... It was super gruesome with the way they kill their victims. The look on their faces were pathetic as they don't even care about what they have done. But that story however leave me to think how short our live is and we should treasure it. Be sure of what we want in life and have a strong belief. On my second year of poly I did a presentation on serial killers and I came upon the Manson murders done by the 'Manson Family'... Now I am reading about it again to know more about it. Click on this link if U're interested.

http://www.crimelibrary.com/manson/mansonmain.htm

Lunch 'Dirty' Joke

Today we talk about my Japanese tea that I bought in 7-Eleven. Somehow the topic lead to 'roots' and vagina and 'fruits' and fear factor etc etc... The tea can be used for Fear Factor I tell ya... Its like so super *Bleuk... My fren Su Ee thought that they should add the tea with mashed snails... EEEWWwww~~~ Anyway that tea contains catechin. Vic say that it has something gotta do with chlorophyll. She say, "Now U can photosynthesise!!!" and I say,"Oh no! I'll have stems...". Everybody laugh..(If U don't get it den penis=stem). I say again, "Then I'll have flowers and then fruits den I'll disperse all my seeds to others." den Vic say, "Everyone will be infected and thats why its $2!" Oh ya she say I will grow more roots down there so i will cling to something if it comes near.... Hmm maybe not funny now but DAMN it was funny then... Anyway Sue is wearing a 'Dickies' shirt and below it is a phrase saying 'durable clothes'...heheh... What a coincidence rite...K i better stop or I freak everyone out...

P.S.
Joke of the day by Vic, What do U call a penis on a head? The answer is a DICKHEAD!!hahah

Random Acts of Kindness

Here I am back again to this 'Lab of Hell'...Hahha Anyway because of the great demand by Sunil, my greatest fan, here I am to write my blog (neway I dun hav net at home la U!!!So muz relek and wait for my appearance on weekdays). This song is my current fav song so ENJOY!! Shout all U want in my fantastic 'Taggy'. Anyway I am here to explain and encourage U guys to do random acts of kindness starting from today. Let's give a policeman a balloon, help an old woman to walk across the street and gives smiles to strangers or even hold a door for someone... After all that U will be happy and sastified with who U are. It doesn't kill to be nice so DO IT!!! Heck with anyone who think U are crazy to do this and JUST DO IT! Anyone heard this idea on Perfect Ten this morning will have a clear idea of what I am talking about. Everything good deeds U do it will come back to U... Believe IT and U'll believe in yourself and have faith. So U guys better start from now k...Lets keep paying it forward, coz then U will be paid. \m/ (^_^) \m/

Crazy In Love

Hmm.... Juz finished doing some Yeast media and agar. I lurve doing that. Weird but I like the smell though. Met my Fad yesterday and bought him a silver bracelet... Always wanted to buy that for him but just don't get the time. At last I did yesterday. Me, Sunil, Sarah and Fad gotta go out this coming Tuesday. We gotta go out to Heeren to take pics coz the cards lovegety are like only for $5 for 2 cards. Cheap right!! Then we're gonna go Sakura to eat at Penin there. Yey!! Miss U Fad. Neway this Fad bought for me a Teddy Bear all bcoz its Monday...(-_-") Dunno what to say...Hehehe Thankz for the thought Fad.U know I like Teddies...:)

Tsunamis attack

Hmm...If U guys realise, the tsunamis attack have killed thousands of people especially in Phuket, Aceh, Sri Lanka and other affected areas. Sad to know that I can't do anything about it but donate and help out.I really wanna help out but been busy with alot of stuffs like attachment, school, working at Harvey Norman and family stuffs.I think one thing that everyone should do is that if they can't really do anything then we all should at least pray for these people and realise ourselves are very fortunate and never take granted of the things that are given to us in this life.I remembered the day I gotta know about this, the whole day was so sad and dull to me.Sometimes I find that things happening around me do affect me eventhough its like so far away from me.For now lets have a minute of silent.

Only One

I have been hearing the song by Yellowcard, 'Only One', like so many times outside, inside, everywhere, it is everywhere around me. I think it is telling me something, U know like a sign. I have to buy the album. I feel tired today. Very tired... I am sorry too Fad if I hurt your feelings but then I hope that U will understand how I feel k. I think that both are at fault. Anyway how to contact U if u never charge hp? Haiz I miss U. Maybe we can talk more later k.Gotta do my microarray now. Suck!!!