So much further now

My call seem to be a nuisance, my sms seems to be a pain. My tears and plea seems to be a waste. Is it because I am feeling low? Is it because I am disappearng out of your heart? Is it because U are sick of me? Is it because there is another 1 in your heart? Or is it U starting to hate me? Everytime U put the phone down on me without saying goodbye and with a sense of anger, I feel the love fading away. Everytime U spend time with your friends, I feel U tend to change your attention and care. Is it me who is feeling low or is it U are already sick of me? I feel the more U ignore me, the further we are from each other. I feel unlove and "uncare"(if there is such a word). Today I come to work in silence and with a sad heart. All the "sorries"( if there is again another type of word) U have said I accept and I trust that sorry. Do U really mean it? I am scared of losing U because I know that no other guy can love like U do but so far I see, your love for me is dying. I hope all these are hallucinations and nitemare. I do not want to hold U down like a prisoner in my heart, if U do want to fly, I let it be. That way I will know if U really love me. Sometimes I cut myself to see how much it bleeds and I know that the pain is nothing compared to this aching heart. All I want in a guy is for him to love me, cherish me, do not take me for granted, care for me, do not forget me, sincerity and honesty, do not leave me alone when I really need him and really, really, really, really love me. That is all I ask for from U. All others and feeling of goodness will come by itself from that love that u planted in yourself. Love brings U feelings like U have never feel before and do so much goodness that U be so fascinated to embrace it and never let it go no matter what. I hope U do love me this way because that is how much I love u...(-_-) My eyes both now are red. There is a yellow liquid coming at the side of my eyes. When I woke up I need to force open my eyes as all of it has solidify, its not eye shit ok but I think its the yellow liquid that the irritation makes.