I don't know who cares...

Sometimes I wonder wether people close to me and those used to be close to me and everyone around me ever think or say things about me. Wonder if they think that I am a good friend or a bad one. I know that it is bad to think what other people thinks about U but I can't help it. I am not like suppose to believe in horoscopes but PISCES are sensitive and easily wounded. Now I am back to wearing my cool nerd specs beause the other day I got an eye infection. Sometimes I wonder if my friends ever know that I am busy with the work and school I have. My time are mostly for work and school and of course for Fadly. I really can't be far from Fad. Sometimes I tend to get further away from my friends, esp close ones, because I think that I am not needed or special to them anymore or because they have new friends. That is 1 of the reasons why I can't be far from Fad, he is there for me as a friend and listens to my heart aches. Do not know why I will feel easily low and sad, I know its bad but I can't help it. My heart is very fragile and weak but I know that within all that when I am trying to reach out to someone in help, all of a sudden I have this strength and motivation to live. I'll suddenly will feel happy about what I have done for anyone around me, even after giving a smile to a stranger. Most of the time I feel invisible to people around me. Is it wrong to be humble? Maybe I am being too paranoid about this. Even things that happen to others around me that are miles away affect me so deeply. I can cry all because of that and feel miserable. Whenever I feel sad outside, I will feel like going home and cry in my room. Sometimes even go out alone makes me feels better. Alot of things are in my mine now, money to buy a new computer, taking care of my parents when sis got their house, wonder if Fad going to be my husband (feeling scared things go wrong), feeling low (sometimes I think everyone do not care esp those close), studies(esp) and others feeling pain. To think about it I need to send my abstract of proj poster now. So I guess the only way for me to cover that sadness to fill my time. I hope I answer enyones questions why sometimes I am like this and that... (-_-)