The confession

I was wrong to tell everything that they needed to know. But out of all that thinking, I rather tell the truth then lie about it. I can't keep this in my head, it just slowly kills me. You have managed to get rid of me, congratulations.

I hope things will be better for them. They are meant to be with one another, I am just temporarily there to ease the pain they have went through. I should have realised this in the first place. I was just out of the picture, observing and being there when needed. Allah have plans for me, testing me with everything that is precious in my life, I have accepted the consequences. I know life will be different now, maybe not for them, but for me. I am aware of all the things that are going to be thrown at me, all because I did not lie. Maybe Allah make me came back into their lives to help them get back together again. Probably with me around, they have realised that they are missing each other.

Is lying a good thing? I am not sure, maybe because I just can't stand lies that is why I can't lie. I can't run away from my problems, I rather face it and settle it. In time, the truth will be out, I leave it all to Allah, I think I have said enough already and done my part as a friend. Should I say more, things will be just complicated and I will be blamed. I can't stop you anymore, you should learn to stop yourself.

In the meantime, I just focus on the other parts of my life where I can ammend.

Diri Mu Sepi

Dapat ku dengarkan kata-kata yang mengeji ku
Jeritan penuh dengan kebiasaan diri mu
Mata mu tajam merenung diri ini sambil tertawa
Sangat konfiden pemikiran mu
Betapa seksa hati ini untuk tawakan diri sendiri
Tiada siapa yang tahu
Pertarungan ini memang sudah lama sekali
Mempertahankan keperibadian ku
Mungkin belum masanya difahamkan lagi
Doa ku akan selalu di sisi mu
Agar kamu dapat mengenali isi hati diri mu yang sepi.

Don't get lost...

Many times in our life where we are unsure of doing what we should do. When we think about it now, life seems so messy and full of struggles. From every struggle, actually, we learned something new, move on with a humble heart and be more careful.

We met new friends who might seem cool or nice to us but then was actually talking bad things or criticising us. We were fooled by guys who claimed that they love us and only us. We were stupid enough to use wrong skin products. We trust people who we were not supposed to trust too much. We allowed others to make ourselves feel inferior. We let others hurt us. We cried over people who don't really care about us. We made our parents disappointed. We think too much about simple matters. We give up on things that we actually could have done better. We hurt others who care for us. We show our temper tantrum to others. We kept things to ourselves too much. We have done things that we have regretted.

BUT when life seems so perfect, we tend to get lost. We forget who we are and what is right or wrong. Maybe struggles happen for a reason, so that we will never lose our way and be ignorance, snobbish, selfish or lost. Once a while, we will get strayed away from the purpose of this life but being ignorance to what is troubling us just make us more lost. Laughing, shopping, picking on others, demoralising others(esp your friends/family), putting too high hopes on life and ignoring your problems won't help at all.

What we need is family, love ones and true friends who truly care for us, caring and being there for them will benefit us more than being sad over others who hurt or don't care for us. We should appreciate the people who are there when we are sad, lonely and need help or advice. How can we be so ignorance especially to our parents who are here with us through all the hard times...Some mistakes need to be changed to love and affection, so that life is more meaningful between us all.