Daddy-day-care

My dad now know who is Fadly aka Aqasha. It was fun last saturday when we went visiting each other houses. We ate like almost every house. I didnt refuse of course. Lurve food!!!

Nervous Opportunity

This Saturday is going to be a countdown for me. Wonder what my dad will think of him. Hope things go smoothly. I want to get away from them who make use of me, take me for granted. Sometimes I would cry inside thinking how could they do such a thing to me. It's like they come and go as they please as though its a clear sin. I leave them to think for themselves, I can't be bothered anymore. Am I information counter for the troubled heart and soul? I guess so. But it's okay and I wish all the best for them. BUT I am hurt. Disappointed is the right word. I done my best to be a friend that cares and be there as much as I can but it still no use. My mum even say I am stupid for being too nice eventhough they are so bad to me. But what am i to do, this is my principles of life. It is better to care and love rather than hurting other people just because others are doing so, it's just going round and round. Someone have to make a difference. I hope I am. While I am happy to be there I am also sad and disappointed, suffering. BUT I have faith and that I have to remind myself. I just have to be patience. But how much is patience to be patience? As long as i don't end up being a patient in hospital that okay. Without suffering there would be no compassion. I'll carry on to do the right thing. This is what I believe.

Maybe I am better...

If u ask me wether I am better? I am... Yey!!! Maybe I just need some sleep. When I woke up today I was confused. Did I manage to say bye? If I didnt then what an embarassment. My dreams were clearly empty like as though the memories were deleted. It is better between me and Faz now, maybe all along we need to be honest abt our friendship. The memory 2 days ago still sticking to me like a leech but I somehow take it as a nightmare. Don't know how I did that but I am doing that. My mind is drifting to the extreme of things but the visions are still blur. I am still waiting for the future of mine and him. It will happen I believe because I have faith in him and Allah.Faith another thing that is stronger than before in me. Maybe it happens for a reason. 'The reason is, you...'

Numb Insecurities

I sat down in front of the wall. My eyes were dry blurring out the view. His touch was cold yet warm at the fingertips. Those sounds in the surrounding went dead. Is this for real? At that point of time I was so happy yet scared alltogether at the same time. I am still afraid if I might lose him. With him I have changed to a better person, I hope. Don't understand why sometimes I get jealous so easily with confusion in my mind. Maybe it's the past. Sometimes they still haunt my mind, in my dreams. How am I to overcome this? Even when I tell him it still won't go. But I know it is all up to me to get rid of it because I believe that I am strong. Believing in oneself is sometimes hard for me because of the low confidence I have since young. You can't imagine the life I am going through. Alot of things happen that was beyond my reach but I was still affected by it. There is alot of beginnings with sad endings. But with him won't let it happen because I know I can't find anyone like him. He is the one I love. Because of him I love myself more and see the beauty of things around me.