Numb Insecurities

I sat down in front of the wall. My eyes were dry blurring out the view. His touch was cold yet warm at the fingertips. Those sounds in the surrounding went dead. Is this for real? At that point of time I was so happy yet scared alltogether at the same time. I am still afraid if I might lose him. With him I have changed to a better person, I hope. Don't understand why sometimes I get jealous so easily with confusion in my mind. Maybe it's the past. Sometimes they still haunt my mind, in my dreams. How am I to overcome this? Even when I tell him it still won't go. But I know it is all up to me to get rid of it because I believe that I am strong. Believing in oneself is sometimes hard for me because of the low confidence I have since young. You can't imagine the life I am going through. Alot of things happen that was beyond my reach but I was still affected by it. There is alot of beginnings with sad endings. But with him won't let it happen because I know I can't find anyone like him. He is the one I love. Because of him I love myself more and see the beauty of things around me.