Invitation

I stepped into the mosque with my quite sandy feet as I try to find a place to seat, I realised the old faces of people I have seen before. How much I want to feel the love of a grandmother, deprived childhood filled with sadness of depression. Do you call it depression? Am I not too young to feel it when I am at 6 or 7? Then again how can I deny the greatness of Allah. Nothing is impossible in this world and things happen for a reason. Problem with myself since young, thinking about how i look and sometimes that I don't belong in this society of people who only cares about talking bad about others and greediness about money and they only care about themselves. Human filled with imperfection, no wonder I keep feeling low about myself because I can't keep my own promises to myself.

What the ustaz say keep ringing in my ears that reflects what is troubling me all these years, I can't keep my prayers going on and on and making it a routine. Maybe I am trying too hard like what he say. It just make the satan more stronger to pull me out of that routine. Just one day the routine is stopped, it will be a long time that it will start back, somehow the daily activities pull me not to keep the routine. And that was the emptiness I am trying to stop and especially now that I have meet the one for me to build a stronger bond with all my life, I am sure of what I want, but my future seems uncertain. Somehow something is making the fear to build up and go out of control, enabling me to achieve what I want in life. So I am going to start when the day starts on its early prayers tomorrow. Please pray for me, this is my way to hapiness with Fadly.