I got nothing to say...
When life just pulls you down and it seems so unfair, what do you do? I got nothing to say...
WORK:
Senile, silent-walk, slow-thinking, stress-developer and MAJOR-KAYPO person still here in the midst of us at work. Slowly my head gets as stress as before, I can only cry to the miserable things happening there, waiting for the right time to get out of this hell. Eventhough friends are so many but somehow every finger is pointing at me. All is my responsibility, but I think I am the worst-paid and more-work person there. Whats the use of me saying anything, it doesn't make a difference anymore, I can only hope for my future to be the best. Wish I could just get out of this... I don't even share the heartaches I am having at work with my mum anymore, there is no use saying anymore, I feel like a failure in the eyes of my parents.
FRIENDS:
I do not have time and money to go out with friends, too many things I have to think about. Though I know there are few who would not understand, its hard to explain when you are in my shoe. I have to set aside my pay for mum, engagement, bills, transport & a little portion for myself. My pay is so low, as you can see in the previous paragraph. It hurts more when friends do not understand when you cannot go out, and if can only certain times. I am already supporting myself 100% after Poly life, and if I do not have enough money for myself, I promise myself that I won't use my parents money. Most friends I know, still have support from parents so please understand my difficulties and principles. And don't say that I only go out with my BF because we don't even eat out or go out(only when we need to buy important things), he only come my house and we spent time at home with my family.
INTERVIEWS:
I went to too many interviews that I feel so horrible of myself, about 80% never even give a reply.
1) 2 different NTU dept lab tech position
2) air traffic controller @ Changi Airport
3) patient service associate @ CGH
4) Animal lab tech @ A*Star
5) Kikkoman QA lab tech
6) IRAS Tax Officer
Maybe I forget some others... haiz am I that bad?
LOVE & FAMILY:
The only thing that I am always looking forward is my love, Fadly & family. Only God knows how much they have done for me. I don't understand why friends say that I am too busy with my BF when actually I have no heart to leave my mum alone at home, plus I am saving up. It is sadder that when I am free/not free, I am forgotten. Maybe its my fault too because no one really knows what really is happening in my life except for Fad. Hope this clears everything. The reason why I wouldn't let anyone know except for Fad because I do not want to burden others, its enough that I am a failure now in the eyes of certain people.
I have got nothing to say or complain, things are happenning to me in a manner I should just swallow it in. So that is why you don't hear anything from me. You are always remembered my friends, though I know now you are busy with your life too just like me, but still I am here when you need a listening ear and advice.
WORK:
Senile, silent-walk, slow-thinking, stress-developer and MAJOR-KAYPO person still here in the midst of us at work. Slowly my head gets as stress as before, I can only cry to the miserable things happening there, waiting for the right time to get out of this hell. Eventhough friends are so many but somehow every finger is pointing at me. All is my responsibility, but I think I am the worst-paid and more-work person there. Whats the use of me saying anything, it doesn't make a difference anymore, I can only hope for my future to be the best. Wish I could just get out of this... I don't even share the heartaches I am having at work with my mum anymore, there is no use saying anymore, I feel like a failure in the eyes of my parents.
FRIENDS:
I do not have time and money to go out with friends, too many things I have to think about. Though I know there are few who would not understand, its hard to explain when you are in my shoe. I have to set aside my pay for mum, engagement, bills, transport & a little portion for myself. My pay is so low, as you can see in the previous paragraph. It hurts more when friends do not understand when you cannot go out, and if can only certain times. I am already supporting myself 100% after Poly life, and if I do not have enough money for myself, I promise myself that I won't use my parents money. Most friends I know, still have support from parents so please understand my difficulties and principles. And don't say that I only go out with my BF because we don't even eat out or go out(only when we need to buy important things), he only come my house and we spent time at home with my family.
INTERVIEWS:
I went to too many interviews that I feel so horrible of myself, about 80% never even give a reply.
1) 2 different NTU dept lab tech position
2) air traffic controller @ Changi Airport
3) patient service associate @ CGH
4) Animal lab tech @ A*Star
5) Kikkoman QA lab tech
6) IRAS Tax Officer
Maybe I forget some others... haiz am I that bad?
LOVE & FAMILY:
The only thing that I am always looking forward is my love, Fadly & family. Only God knows how much they have done for me. I don't understand why friends say that I am too busy with my BF when actually I have no heart to leave my mum alone at home, plus I am saving up. It is sadder that when I am free/not free, I am forgotten. Maybe its my fault too because no one really knows what really is happening in my life except for Fad. Hope this clears everything. The reason why I wouldn't let anyone know except for Fad because I do not want to burden others, its enough that I am a failure now in the eyes of certain people.
I have got nothing to say or complain, things are happenning to me in a manner I should just swallow it in. So that is why you don't hear anything from me. You are always remembered my friends, though I know now you are busy with your life too just like me, but still I am here when you need a listening ear and advice.
posted by AzurAso'oD at 2:47 PM
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