It was a disappointment but I still love him...

Well the anniversary prezzie was not quite wat i expected. What I mean is I know its a silver thing but I didn't know it was a prezzie that was kept for 2 years for his Ex and now he gave me. I don't care if the prezzie he gave is not expensive. Anyway I already tell him 2 months ago that we juz buy prezzie below $10 so we can save and see who more creative. Somehow I feel lower than ever about myself compare to his Ex. :(... I was recalled about all the other things he does to me that hurt me so much. Eventhough some of this stuff he know that I'll get hurt if he do such a thing but he still do it. I was so much lower after that 1 year anniversary thing. We have a talk on the phone. I can't stop myself from crying. I was shocked by his reaction. At first he remain quiet and he sound as if he don't care at all. Then I really can't take all the pain so I say maybe we should break up then he started to freak out. I don't wanna lose him but I can't stand the pain anymore. I juz want him to wake up to the real world and appreciate every single thing he have at this point of time.I hope I did help. Nowadays the days seem dull and sad.I don't know why but I'll make my way through with him around. I need his help to heal myself. :(.. Nobody can break us up!!! Try to be strong sayang... Good things will happen if U juz do what is right... U know what I mean rite? I lurve Drew Barrymore... She reminds me of myself actually... Not looks, I know I am nothing compare to her...